Interesting reading about another faiths system of mourning. I'm an atheist now, well really and lapsed Roman Catholic. It seems simpler in comparison for us. There is a service where we carry the coffin into the church, there are prayers and eulogies, then we carry the coffin to the graveyard and a small procession as we place the coffin on ropes, again prayers and some eulogies and the coffin is lowered in the grave, symbolically we scatter earth dug out of the grave onto the top of the coffin and then we leave for a reception metting afterwards where we toast the loved one and then we move on, never forgetting, but no other official mourning system.
When I was 25 I lost my dad. He had remarried and I wasn't there at the end when he had his heart attack at 52. I attended the funeral service and he was taken to be cremated, we attended a pub afterwards to toast his goodbye. It was more his side of the family. I cried when they brought his coffin into the church as I had not seen him for 11 years. It was crying from despair. I was 31 when my grandmother died. The ceremonies were larger, the family larger, my mothers side of the family. I had said my goodbyes this time in hospital as she kept going close to death and then coming round again. I talked to her, sat by her side, holding her hand, and each time she came semi conscious, making noises of satisfaction upon hearing my voice and my mother cried everytime. She cried because every time she tried to talk to my grandmother, she stayed silent, kept unconscious. I cried in hospital and told my grandmother she had been the family head, had done so much for the family that everyone would miss her, that it was her time to go and she should be proud she led such a fulfilling, inspiring life for us all and I thanked her for it. She was mumbling away and sounded sympathetic.
At the graveside my family was upset, crying. My mother asked me to go put the first bible my grandmother had given my mother as a schoolkid ontop of her coffin before it went down, she couldn't do it herself. I didn't cry, I had done my crying. It ws a solemn task, a final goodbye. I calmly placed the bible on her coffin and said goodbye. It was the final act before she was lowered, my whole family was watching me. There was no nervousness, no embaressment, no panic. Just comforting ritual.
I have a card in my wallet, with my grandmothers photo on it, the last taken before she ecame ill, the way we all see her (she was 96 when she died and still fairly robust, she had not changed appearance for decades it seemed to us) It has quote from a saint on the front with the details of her death and her church rites. A psalm from the bible is on the back with an image of John, lantern in one hand, other raised.
We don't have a long protracted system of mourning in the RC church, but we mourn the loss of loved ones every time we think about them. We choose the time to mourn, whatever time of day, or day itself. The effect on our lives will carry on until our own death and we realise with family loss that it is our actions towards our own family that affects them, that influences how they themselves treat family and so on.
Coming to terms with mortality is hard and it doesn't need to be done too often, but it shows us what our family connections are, why we need to make sure that living family should always think less of themselves. A little helping hand goes a long way to making us better people and passing that on down the line. It is to close family as well as extended family in a time where divorce and remarriage is too commonplace. I don't think my family has excluded anyone, family is almost everything in the end.
no subject
When I was 25 I lost my dad. He had remarried and I wasn't there at the end when he had his heart attack at 52. I attended the funeral service and he was taken to be cremated, we attended a pub afterwards to toast his goodbye. It was more his side of the family. I cried when they brought his coffin into the church as I had not seen him for 11 years. It was crying from despair.
I was 31 when my grandmother died. The ceremonies were larger, the family larger, my mothers side of the family. I had said my goodbyes this time in hospital as she kept going close to death and then coming round again. I talked to her, sat by her side, holding her hand, and each time she came semi conscious, making noises of satisfaction upon hearing my voice and my mother cried everytime. She cried because every time she tried to talk to my grandmother, she stayed silent, kept unconscious. I cried in hospital and told my grandmother she had been the family head, had done so much for the family that everyone would miss her, that it was her time to go and she should be proud she led such a fulfilling, inspiring life for us all and I thanked her for it. She was mumbling away and sounded sympathetic.
At the graveside my family was upset, crying. My mother asked me to go put the first bible my grandmother had given my mother as a schoolkid ontop of her coffin before it went down, she couldn't do it herself. I didn't cry, I had done my crying. It ws a solemn task, a final goodbye. I calmly placed the bible on her coffin and said goodbye. It was the final act before she was lowered, my whole family was watching me. There was no nervousness, no embaressment, no panic. Just comforting ritual.
I have a card in my wallet, with my grandmothers photo on it, the last taken before she ecame ill, the way we all see her (she was 96 when she died and still fairly robust, she had not changed appearance for decades it seemed to us) It has quote from a saint on the front with the details of her death and her church rites. A psalm from the bible is on the back with an image of John, lantern in one hand, other raised.
We don't have a long protracted system of mourning in the RC church, but we mourn the loss of loved ones every time we think about them. We choose the time to mourn, whatever time of day, or day itself. The effect on our lives will carry on until our own death and we realise with family loss that it is our actions towards our own family that affects them, that influences how they themselves treat family and so on.
Coming to terms with mortality is hard and it doesn't need to be done too often, but it shows us what our family connections are, why we need to make sure that living family should always think less of themselves. A little helping hand goes a long way to making us better people and passing that on down the line. It is to close family as well as extended family in a time where divorce and remarriage is too commonplace. I don't think my family has excluded anyone, family is almost everything in the end.