I have found the choice between family and career quite painful - I never could make them work together, and since I have had better success with my family, I have drifted away from the career. Some of the most successful women I know have never been able to marry and have children - they simply couldn't find a man who could be flexible enough.
For those who do marry, I have noticed that two things drive who stays home with children - whether the couple believes strongly in nursing for the first year, and who earns more. Biologically most women cannot sustain supply and work full time for an entire year. And couples undestandably tend to prioritize the career of the partner with greater earning potential.
I knew a transsexual IT professional who had applied for jobs as both man and woman (she/he looked quite natural as either gender) and received two responses to the same resume, depending on the perception of gender. As a woman, she was told she was overqualified and/or requesting too much compensation. As a man, he was told he was a great fit and they could discuss salary.