An Anniversary

[mabfan]

A year go this morning, at 6:39 am, as Nomi and I were getting ready to go to work, we received a phone call from my brother Jonathan. Mom had died, and suddenly much of our lives were put on hold as we dealt with the aftermath.

I felt the need to mark today with some sort of mention, but the truth is that the anniversary isn't hitting me emotionally as much as it could. For one thing, I already marked Mom's yahrzeit on the Hebrew calendar a few weeks ago, bringing my religious mourning period to a close.

For another thing, it's been a very busy week. We started the week at Arisia, and on Tuesday and Thursday evenings I had my first two classes in the Boston University Certificate in Publishing program. Furthermore, I've had a lot to do at work and I had a medical follow-up appointment yesterday afternoon. And finally, as I mentioned earlier, the son of a good friend of mine was diagnosed with leukemia, leading me to think about his plight a lot more than mine.

In short, the week has been filled with enough of its own distractions that the anniversary of Mom's death ends up being just one of many things, and not a looming single presence of its own.

And you know what? I know she would have preferred it that way.

Comments

[gem225.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that you have the distractions, and I have you in my thoughts. I hope that the classes go well and that the medical follow-up appointment was uneventful. Take care, my friend.

[mabfan.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I hope you're doing OK as well, being in the same boat.

[gem225.livejournal.com]

Yes, I am. Thank you. Lately I've had more energy, been writing even, having longer and longer periods go by without missing my mother, and when I do think of her, it's with a smile and only a little sorrow that she's not here now.

The ASP's Henry V is spectacular. Greg and I saw it Sunday afternoon, and it blew us away (and exhausted us with how intense it was). I hope that you and gnomi are able to see it.

[shewhomust.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it's good to have a structure, like your religious mourning period, but sometimes I think we rely too much on anniversaries to tell us what to feel and when. I miss people when I miss them, with sudden pangs at random moments; if I'm remembering them deliberately I'd sooner remember them living, and carry on marking the birthdays I've marked all my life.

[gryphonrose.livejournal.com]

Nicely put, amigo. I mark my mother's birthday rather than the anniversary of her death, because I know she'd rather we remembered the positive date than the negative one. Though I do light a yahrzeit candle for her every year, of course.

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

Sorry for the occasion but glad you're taking it so well.